Social Anxiety UK - Success Stories : Sammie's story

Sammie with a West End show star.

Sammie had a few close relationships with people at school but she felt that they always used to turn out badly or that they would 'go off' her. In recent months Sammie has made great strides in overcoming her SA and associated agoraphobia from taking the first tenuous steps in attending SA-UK meetings, to attending self-defence classes and theatre groups and gently re-exposing herself to the challenges of everyday life.

Sammie is 28. She is available for media enquiries at
sam_r_hall@hotmail.com

Sammie: SA has extremely affected my life from leaving school at 15, to moving school because I was bullied, then getting bullied again at another school, to being agoraphobic for nearly 3 years. I couldn't stand to go out and see people who I knew who I thought would hurt me. Its so hard to put this into a story cause their was so much more to it.

I have never had any proper help, only meds and the support of my family, and also the will power in myself to get better. I did have a counsellor for a few weeks 3 years ago before I became agoraphobic but it was so surreal - I needed more than just a counsellor - but finding this site was very helpful and it also motivated me to move on. I found that knowing people who also had SA didn't make me feel so alone and to have the opportunity to talk about my problems via the discussion forums and chat rooms helped a great deal.

The meets were of great benefit because you actually get out there and meet new people. When you don't have any friends it's nice to go out with those that understand you. I remember a long time ago there was an article in the 'You' magazine about depression, it sounded just like me and it gave me a website address. I didn't know there were any Social Anxiety websites at the time, so that prompted me to buy my computer. That was the best thing I ever did as through the depression site I met someone from this site who mentioned it and from that day I have been a regular at the SA-UK site.

I did go through a phase of buying lots of self help books which helped a little, I also have the Doctor Richards' CBT tapes. Although they seemed v helpful and I know have been beneficial to many I found I couldn't concentrate on them which can often be a problem for people suffering from depression so I prefer to just do what I can whilst trying to remain positive. The Gillian Butler book 'Overcoming Social Anxiety' is very good and I would recommend that to anyone experiencing Social Anxiety problems. I guess in a way that's why I recommend the SA-UK meetings as well as its more a case of just getting out without having to concentrate too much, as is the case for the site chat rooms and so I'd even recommend that as an initial step in helping to recognise and overcome Social Anxiety and agoraphobia...it certainly helped me on my way.

The progress I have made is fantastic. I never thought I'd be leaving the house, but I went from not opening the front door to going to London to an SA-UK meeting, and it was all on my own back.

It's so hard to explain but I think I was so fed up of living this way and I finally thought that if I went out in the world again what else could hurt me as I was already hurt enough. I can now go out my front door although it's still hard, and I still watch to see if people can see me, I block those feelings out.

I never used to go into town and now I do. I have a friend who used to go round with my old set of friends and I have recently been to her house. I thought everyone would be horrible to me, but they were so kind. The thoughts in my head were not real they were telling me lies. I guess a lot of people used to tell me I was worthless especially an ex-partner I had and it made me believe I was. But I know now they put thoughts into my head and it wasn't true. I have started to get out more on my own again and I'm going to see we will rock you on my own in London soon too. Now I couldn't have done that 3 years ago. Although I still don't have many friends I'm happy that way till I gain ones I trust, it will happen to you too.

All I can say for you guys who want to get better is along the way you will have highs and lows.... but the highs outweigh the lows, please don't be scared. I know when we are low we don't want to do anything because the fright is so strong but you can get out of that by just going for it. At first you might have a few mishaps but don't let that put you off. Ok, this may sound silly but I found wearing a baseball hat or bennie, gave me more confidence to go out, as no-one would recognise me and I felt safer that way. I still pull my baseball cap down so no-one can see my face, it helps me, do what ever helps you to go out... even maybe to buy yourself a treat so you have a good memory after you have been thorough all the emotional strain of getting there.

I guess I can plan for the future now whereas before I never thought I'd have a future apart from sitting at home and not going out... now I want a relationship, kids, career, friends! I want to be able to enjoy going out for walks, which I am now doing now.

I have also taken up martial arts (its gave me a lot of confidence) mainly as I was bullied at school and I always felt I could never fight back. Now I can, though I doubt and I hope that the situation will ever arise where I would need to.

I also am in a drama club though only doing the makeup at the moment but would like to go onto other things. I guess its my determination that makes me want to do these things and if I fail at least I know I have tried. Staying positive and just trying is the most important thing and to forget the 'what ifs'. I also would like to move to London and marry Tony Vincent (lol) but that's a dream!