Katherine's Story Katherine is 34 and single. Katherine was the 'shy one' throughout her teens and twenties. Her SA affected just about every aspect of her life, and she has suffered depression because of it. She found out about SA on the Internet, tried CBT from the NHS, and then CCBT from the Social Anxiety Institute. Her successes include giving a radio interview, making some great friendships, and feeling much happier and more confident about life in general.

Success Stories Jackie's story Katherine's story Sammie's story David's story Stefano's story Kevin's story Emma's story Jonjo's story Paul's story

How has SA affected your life? Katherine: I now realise that I grew up with a very poor sense of self-esteem, mainly due to external influences. I was always aiming for perfection in everything I did and consequently, always falling short and feeling something was lacking in every aspect of my life. My lack of self-esteem meant that I was always the 'shy one'. I hid behind others for many years, let other people take the lead and, basically, to cut a long story short, feel I missed out on much of my teenage years and twenties because I was so worried about what 'other people thought of me'. SA affected just about every aspect of my life. I have always managed to keep on working, mainly I think because my perfectionist nature saw unemployment as a 'failure'. Working, though often extremely difficult and painful, appeared to me to be the lesser of two evils. I suffered from depression at various stages in my life. When did you decide to get help? Where did you look for it? I found help through the Internet. I was actually looking up anxiety for someone else when I discovered the term Social Anxiety and recognised the experiences being described. This was a major help, and the beginning of my recovery. This was 2 years ago and since then I have made tremendous progress. Realising that I had a recognised problem helped me to stop blaming myself totally for being the 'weird' and 'stupid' person I thought myself to be. I went to the doctor who referred me for CBT. I had to wait about 4 months and whilst it was helpful to a degree, it was not comprehensive enough and I was not encouraged to practise consistently enough for it to make any lasting change. Through the Internet I also found out about support groups and the Comprehensive Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CCBT) tape series from the Social Anxiety Institute in the USA. Attending a group was extremely helpful and supportive. I cannot overstress the importance of being with people who understood how I felt and who I knew did not judge me. I no longer feel the need to attend such a group but I have made some great friends who I still keep in touch with. After some thought and discussion with others I also decided to purchase Dr Richards' CCBT tape series. I felt comfortable with what he said as he himself was previously an SA sufferer and seemed to have a good understanding of my problems. I also liked the fact that you do some work on yourself every day - made me feel I was doing something! Tell us about the progress you have made... What successes have you had? I can safely say that these tapes are the best purchase I have ever made. My life has turned around as a result. I am not totally 'cured' but I can recognise that my thoughts and beliefs are often totally irrational and unrealistic and take positive steps to address this. I am much more accepting of myself and my abilities and I value myself much more. These are some of the things I have done with the help of the tape series. Carry out a presentation at work. A radio interview (still not sure how I managed this one!!!!). Be more open with people. I have made some great friendships over the last year or two. See myself as more of an equal rather than a 'hanger on'. Stop those post mortem thoughts in their tracks. Worry much less. And loads more that I've forgotten. As you start to feel better you do forget what you couldn't do. As I said I'm not cured. I don't think I ever will be as this is an unrealistic expectation. There are times in everyone's life when they will feel anxious but I accept this now. I still have issues to deal with but the world is no longer the dark and depressing place it once was. It now holds many challenges and opportunities. The tape series was a starting point really. I feel it has highlighted other areas of my life that I can now look at. What advice do you have for others? I strongly believe that a positive attitude can overcome any problem. I also believe that you have to look inside yourself for the answers - no one else can tell you what to do, although they can be supportive. This may mean resolving some uncomfortable issues from the past and then looking forward positively to the future. From my own experience, I can strongly recommend the tape series as a means of moving forward if you are really committed and motivated for change (This is important. The therapy is not hard but it does require time, commitment and discipline to stick with it). Don't blame other people and dwell on situations from the past. It may well be that a certain person is responsible for making you feel the way you do now. Acknowledge this and get professional help if necessary but then move on to take positive steps to deal with the challenges you face. Don't live in the past. I have learned that, as an adult, it is up to me, and ONLY me, to choose how I feel about myself and how I see the world around me. Join a self-help group, read books on SA, get some CBT, speak to people online, look at the websites, go to the SA meets. I believe that we ALL have great internal resources at our disposal if we can only learn to believe in ourselves. THERE IS HOPE OF RECOVERY! You may have to search for the help you need but there is more help available for SA than ever before (particularly self-help, which for me was the most helpful). If you look hard it will be out there somewhere. If I can do it, anybody can!

sa-uk home

e-mail the site